Yesterday was important for two reasons: my first posting, and a pull-free day. I don't totally know why or how, but something just clicked. Probably because I had a great Monday during the day... but then, at night, before bed, I lost control. I pulled quite a bit... and then deeply felt that failure feeling which I occasionally experience. Didn't last long, which I'm thankful for... I'm grateful to only experience glimpses into the world of the depressed. I was so mad at myself for doing so well all day, only to "ruin" everything right before I was going to go to bed.
Anyway, back to the positive, pull-free note...Since I was sitting in front of my computer watching last week's The Office & 30 Rock episodes, I recorded the number of times I "resisted" (which I guess I define as reaching up and feeling a hair or hairs, but putting my hand down before pulling: ten times. There were more resists, probably, that I didn't even catch. Yay!
Today has also been a totally pull-free day so far, and bed is not far off, so I'm proud. This is the best I've done in a little while. I'm going to revel in the feeling, wash my face, brush my teeth, read, and go to bed. Oh, mustn't forget... I called a therapist/psychologist (not sure exactly... they all mean different things, don't they?) in Seattle who specializes in trich and some other related disorders. I left a message, and then today the Doc left me a message while I was at a workshop. So, no actual conversation yet, but good step.
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